LilyInteractive

 Interview with an Anarchist Misanthrope – 2023

Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? I literally just want everyone to chill the fuck out and have a conversation. 

Life is going too fast. 

I don’t want to be remembered. I just don’t want to die.

I feel like I’m always supposed to be doing things? 

I feel like I am being wasted. 

If I blink I will be 82. 

But I blinked and I was 9. 

Fuck. 

Having a conversation with myself. Like a twat. 

A twat who only has herself. Until the end of time.

Wasn’t I supposed to be somewhere? 

I speak to the stars like I am stuck in my own personal Truman show. They tell me life is not a movie. 

What do they know? I am the main character, after all. 

I just want to learn. 

I could have had a peaceful life, but rich men keep trying to get to space. Maybe, when they colonise Mars, we could lock them out? 

Y’kno as if the earth had a back door and a key. 

My point was. I could have had a peaceful life but now I have to make change? 

(Who is winning the race to extinction?)

I want to smash my phone into tiny little bits. It is so useful. 

(I have not texted my friends back in months)

I want to make a pros and cons list. 

But everything is fucking evidence these days. 

How are you supposed to start a revolution with the FBI in your phone…

We complain the masses are uneducated, why is academia so inaccessible? Your journal article is BORING. I can smell the circlejerk it came from. 

I think I am trapped. 

Did your mother ever teach you about solipsism? 

My mama taught me about socialism. 

I dropped out of Harvard in 1999.

(I worry I am my father.)

I have spent so long looking up at the men who make the ground shake and the sky rumble that I never noticed those tip-toeing around my doorstep, is it too late to make a garden? 

“No money in honey..” the neighbours wink at me from amongst their spring onion arm bundles. I think I missed the grocery store’s open hours again. 

(I know I am my mother.) 

I trip

Over my own tongue. 

Where am I rushing to? 

Think before I speak? Girl, do you have 5 minutes?

BOW BOW – wrong answer ! 

I recoil at my memories, the human experience is inescapable. I smile at the warmth of the future. Happiness will find me. 

I hope you see me in your regrets. 

(you are all of mine) 

I am too busy saving the world to have time for your opinion. 

Reddit: am I the asshole? I ignored my wife for the greater good and now she wants a divorce. 

We need to start seafaring, 

I want to make a pros and cons list but everything is fucking evidence these days. 

I think housing should be free, so I have somewhere to cry about not being able to afford a house. 

My bedroom is a sad place and life is so shitty I never want it to end. 

Anyway- shut the door on the way out, please. 

I’m trying to keep the bees in.