LilyInteractive

Does she know how badly that could have gone? I wonder later that night when I recount to my friends the story.

I am known to the officers who pulled up, I have an open case with one of them… “Assault of a police officer in execution of duty”…the trial is yet to happen and this crime sits alongside a(n overturned) drug possession charge and an Aboriginal checkbox marker.

Her brother leaves me alone with the male officers a total of 3 blood-curdling times.

It is being known to the officer, and involved in an active case, that in a twisted turn of events saves me.

The point at which words like ‘drugs’ and ‘assault’ start flashing near words like ‘Aboriginal’ and ‘Disabled’ is the point most officers choose to cuff and search me. These officers are reluctant as I “appear to be rational and not a domestic violence threat” and there is no need to make matters worse between us before we are reunited on my late Oct hearing date. I am given a move-on order, and told that if there is another phone call I will be arrested for trespassing.

This is not the first time a White Woman has been unable to grasp the cultural and lived differences that seperate us. This is not the first time the consequences of that have put my life at risk. My overturned drug possession charge, was also at the hands of a White Woman Ally, and I am in the midst of trying to figure out how to explain to another White Woman friend that her enrollment to the AFP will spell the end of our friendship.

Sometimes I wonder how myself, and my friends from non-white backgrounds can have so much situational empathy and awareness, yet this ability appears to be repeatedly lost on even the most vocal of White allies.

This IS the first time I have been caught out thinking that the allyship was real, trusting that my life was worth just as much as anyone else’s and that I was in a safe space.

A scenario in which I would not have to worry about surviving.

I was wrong, and I will never forget that the place of a First Nations woman in this country is nothing but to survive again.

The next morning I am greeted by 3 of my friends, a breakfast burrito, echoing laughter and the jangling of my spare house keys: “Don’t call the police! Unarmed!” the joke is funny, so we laugh, then we cry.

We cannot wrap our heads around the thought process of a woman who had been so vocal in her First Nations allyship and disdain for the police to see a scenario in which there was no physical threat, and assume that (outside + violent) police intervention was warranted. Most of us are of the opinion, even with a physical threat present the police only ever escalate things, and should be reserved as a last resort.

We discuss what community means to us, and the times we have turned up on doorsteps or had our doorsteps invaded, we have been visited with grief, sorrow, anger and excitement but we have also been the bearers of joy, fear, aggression and tears. We respect that there are times conversations have to be had- regardless of desire to have them.

We are dumbfounded that a woman who self-proclaimed to be “not like other people with Indigenous Studies minors” could be so quick to forget that the police are not, and will never be there to protect me like they are there to protect her. That violence and death only ever became options on the table once the police were involved.

Because to us, it does not matter who called them. It does not matter if it was her, or her brother. To call yourself an ally to any minority, not just First Nations people, and to identify yourself and your space as safe; you need to extend the discussions you are having with Blak people outside of yourself. You need to pass the knowledge you are learning onto your family, your roommates, your co-workers, your friends, lovers and acquantiances. You need to continue having these hard discussions with everyone around you, because you and your space are not safe until you can trust all the people around you to be just as safe.

Interracial relationships have built-in and deadly power dynamics that you need to be prepared to unpack if you are a White person persuing a POC. You need to able to say to your relatives that despite what they have seen and experienced, that when it comes to your First Nations loved ones, the police are not under any circumstances (except extremely violent ones) a conflict resolution option.

This time I was lucky. I was quiet, I was still, I was compliant.

Next time, this funeral notice could be real.